


Epilogue: Four Weeks

by mardemaravilla



Series: This Little Life Inside Of You [12]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Mystery Character(s), Post Mpreg, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 04:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13803849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mardemaravilla/pseuds/mardemaravilla
Summary: Fernando was young when he came to England.When he first met the man who gave him the gift of Mateo, he was awestruck by his strong, collected demeanour.He was everything Fernando wanted to be, he had everything Fernando wanted to have.





	Epilogue: Four Weeks

**Author's Note:**

> Sharing this series has been a wonderful and fun endeavour. Thank you all so much for your hits, kudos and comments. Seeing your feedback in its various forms has been so encouraging and I appreciate all your support on this start-to-finish mpreg adventure :)

One day when Mateo is two years and a few months old, Fernando comes home tired, but his heart is light. He slides the key into the lock and opens the door, taking off his shoes before making his way through his West London home.

He follows the sound of Mateo's sweet laughter and finds him in the kitchen with Juan, strapped into his highchair with spaghetti sauce all over his chin. He leans against the doorframe for a moment, watching as Juan makes airplane noises and tries to get more food into Teo's mouth than on his face.

"Papa!" Mateo catches sight of Fernando in the doorway and the grin that curls up between those chubby freckled cheeks makes Fernando's heart soar.

" _Mi vida_ ," Juan greets him as he wipes their son's face and hands clean with a cloth. _Their son_ , since Juan formally adopted him when he was barely six months old. "How did things go at the doctor's?"

"Good," Fernando responds. There's a thread of nervous excitement running through him as he crosses over to where Juan is sitting in front of Teo. He takes his partner's hand in his and places it on his flat stomach. " _Estoy embarazado_."

Juan's eyes widen and his palm spreads over the plane of Fernando's belly.

"Pregnant?" It's barely a whisper, but the note of hope in Juan's voice is as loud as bells.

"Four weeks already," Fernando nods.

Juan leaps up and holds him so tightly, kisses him so deeply that he feels he can't breathe.

"I love you," he tells him and Fernando never tires of hearing it. There are tears in Juan's blue eyes when he repeats it again, "I love you so much, Fernando."

Fernando lets himself be held, tries not to remember how terribly things went for him the first time he ever said the words _'I'm pregnant'_.

Teo knocks his spoon on the surface of his highchair, "Daddy, up!"

Juan unbuckles him and hoists him high in the air, laughing.

"Did you hear that, _mi cielo_? Papa is giving you and Daddy another little baby to love!" He settles the toddler on his hip and bounces him happily. "I can't believe it," Juan whispers, and there are still tears on his face but his smile is luminous.

Fernando kisses him, full of love, and he only backs away when Teo swats at his shoulder. Juan laughs, easily transferring the toddler over. He burrows into his father's arms, and presses an ear against Fernando's chest.

"Missed you," Teo says.

Fernando's heart flutters. He looks at the way Mateo curls his fingers into the fabric of his shirt, the tiny digits still a little sticky and orange with pasta sauce. This is half of his life right here; Teo and Juan, these two beautiful souls full of love and laughter. The other half of his life Nora, Leo and Olalla, live just a twenty minute drive from Fernando's new home. He has everything; a happily blended family and a football career that still glitters when the light hits it just right. Three years ago, he never would have imagined this for himself, but right now, it's perfect.

"I missed you too."

Mateo's smile dazzles him with the brilliance of tiny teeth and crinkled eyes, eyes that are just as warm and liquid brown as his own.

Everything about Mateo is Fernando; from those almond-shaped eyes, to the smooth line of his nose, and certainly the heavy dusting of freckles over his face and shoulders. Fernando's parents and siblings have remarked on just how much Mateo resembles him; they have shown him photos of himself as a baby side-by-side with Teo's photos, and they're almost indistinguishable. Fernando couldn't be more grateful. He knows that he would have loved Teo no matter what, but he's glad that when he looks into his son's face, he is the only one reflected there.

 

After Teo has a bath and they've put him down for a nap, Juan holds Fernando close on the couch, showering him with affection.

"I can't believe it," Juan babbles. "This is amazing. This is wonderful, Fer! We're having a baby!"

Fernando smiles and leans into the press of kisses against his skin. Juan knows him so well though, and after a moment of reining in his own excitement, he strokes Fernando's hair softly and asks,

"Are you happy?"

Fernando nods, quick to reassure Juan, "Of course I am."

"You seem a little subdued, that's all."

He twines his fingers together with Juan's and carefully considers how to express the mixed emotions bubbling inside of him.

"I am happy. Having a baby with you…it's a dream. I love you so much, Juan, you know that."

"I know. I never doubted any of those things, _mi amor_. I just feel like you're a little sad too."

Juan's empathy has only deepened exponentially over the years that they've been together. It balances them out well, particularly when Fernando's natural shyness makes it difficult for him to express himself as well as he would like.

After a few moments, Fernando confesses, "On the drive home, I was so excited to tell you the news, and then I remembered when I was pregnant with Teo and…how everything happened. I'm trying hard not to think about it, but I'm worried that as I go through the pregnancy, I'll just remember more and more. I don't want to go back there. I don't want to think about those times, but how can I avoid thinking about it when being pregnant was the cause of the whole situation back then?"

They sit together quietly while Juan thinks of an apt response, and in the safety of his embrace, Fernando allows himself to wander down long-disused paths in his mind.

 

Fernando was young when he came to England. Young and lost in a new country, floundering in a foreign language and overwhelmed by the sudden spotlight shining on him. When he first met the man who gave him the gift of Mateo, he was awestruck by his strong, collected demeanour. He was everything Fernando wanted to be, he had everything Fernando wanted to have.

He had been warm and tender and his enthusiasm and appreciation for Fernando's talent as a footballer always seemed like they bordered on the edge of flirting. Shy as Fernando was, he shrugged it off, never believing that a man as great as that could ever really be interested in someone as ordinary as him.

Transitioning into the unexpected but exciting roles of father and husband turned his mind from any other distraction and soon a barrage of injuries had him spending a fair amount of time at home with his new family. Still, whenever he found himself in that man's presence, whether watching him on TV, or talking to him on the phone, or standing beside him, Fernando felt bursts of excitement in his heart.

At times, he felt like they were made for each other, like he needed him to be complete. Sometimes, they were so in-sync that Fernando felt like he was extension of someone better, elevated to become something greater at this man's side. It was intoxicating and addictive and Fernando desperately never wanted to let it go.

He tried to, however reluctantly. Nora was still so young and Olalla was pregnant again and with all of Fernando's injuries accumulating, he was so afraid that he would burn out before his time. He wanted the best for his family. He wanted to have enough to make them comfortable and maintain their lifestyle, and no crush was worth sacrificing the quality of his children's futures.

At the time, he felt broken. He was sullen and quiet when he first moved to London, but the thought of his new contract, earning him and his growing family six-figures in a single week, kept him focused. The fallout from his move wasn't easy to contend with, but neither was the phone call he received soon after.

"I miss you," the man told him through the phone. "There are so many things I want to say to you, but it's not the right time. I just wish you were still here."

It shook Fernando for a long time, and so did the interviews that appeared in the weeks after.

_Heartbroken?_

It unsteadied him, made him unfocused at work and at home. Olalla snapped at him constantly, needing help to care for a newborn and a toddler; the press came down hard on him with their scrutiny and the fans hurled insults anywhere they could. It was chaos and Fernando needed something to ground him again, so when he heard rumours that the club was looking at Juan for the summer transfer window, he picked up the phone.

Juan calmed him down. He asked Fernando questions about his family, which encouraged him to be more attentive and helpful at home. Olalla was grateful for his renewed interest and participation and things improved between the two of them too. By the time Juan moved to London, he was already integrated into Fernando's daily life, and getting him an apartment in the same building as Fernando's went without saying.

Juan's affection was obvious, but not intrusive. He blushed and paid compliments and quietly snuggled up to Fernando on long trips. It never overwhelmed Fernando though. It boosted his confidence and strengthened their bond and Fernando felt like he became a better person for it, both on and off the pitch. Olalla loved having Juan around to help with the children and Fernando enjoyed both the company and the attention.

It didn't take too long after that to mess everything up. On an away trip, bad weather delayed the team overnight, so he decided to meet that man after the match. It only took a few drinks before Fernando felt like he was twenty-three and starry-eyed again, looking across at the man he absolutely adored.

They drank and they talked and they laughed, reminiscing on old memories. He smiled at Fernando, flirted in a way that was obvious and intrusive, but Fernando was too far gone to find his inhibition. He offered to drive Fernando back to the hotel, and Fernando felt a hot thrum of delight when he followed him into the elevator and up to his room.

It was awkward. Fernando had no clue what he was doing, but this guy clearly did, so he let him take control. That seemed to encourage him more. He wrangled Fernando onto his hands and knees, entering with only the most basic of preparation and gripping Fernando's arms until they bruised. It was fast and sweaty, and Fernando can still remember the hot, damp breath against his ear and the rough voice grunting things to him that he had only ever dreamed of. It ended quickly, and the man bid him goodbye with filthy kisses that Fernando's drunk mind correlated with passion and desire. He begged for more, but the older man left anyway, and Fernando could only find the energy to collapse in bed.

The next morning, Fernando was hungover and confused when Juan knocked on his door to wake him. His knees wobbled in the shower when the haze of alcohol cleared and the memory of the night before came back to him. On the bus ride back, his phone beeped with a text.

_'Had a good time with you last night. Let me know whenever you want to do it again ;)'_

He stared at the message for a long, long time and considered the possibility that all his hopes and dreams were coming true.

It took five months before Fernando could free himself from the delusion that that man had feelings for anything more than his body. He felt used and dirty and so, so ashamed of the way he had destroyed his life in the drunken pursuit of an immature fantasy. He knows now that all of it was nothing more than hero-worship gone awry.

With the help of Juan and Olalla, his family, friends from Spain NT and Chelsea, and his baby, Fernando slowly pulled himself together. It took time and it took determination, but no shattered suffering could overshadow the first moment he held Mateo in his arms.

As his baby grew, so did he. Fernando became more confident, and not just due to the flattery of praise and attention, but through belief in himself and his capabilities. He grew to be more thoughtful, more introspective and more expressive of his own thoughts and emotions. Juan had been integral in his development, and Fernando is now capable of sharing genuine love with him, and no longer takes him for granted by just having him around for comfort or companionship.

Juan has given so much to Fernando and Mateo, as well as to Nora, Leo and even Olalla. Even on rough days when they are short on patience or time, Juan is never unfair or hurtful. He knows that Fernando has been broken by his own mistake, and he takes care to help him find all the pieces and put him back together whenever he needs it.

 

Like right now.

"I know it wasn't easy back then. You had the hardest part, but I worried about you so much when you were pregnant with Mateo. I've never thought of you as weak, but for a while I didn't know if you were strong enough to make it through all of the overwhelming situations that you had to deal with."

He squeezes Fernando's hand, "But you were. You worked so hard to atone for the things you felt you did wrong, and you chose to make things better for yourself and Mateo. Being pregnant was never the cause of the problem. Sure, it impacted a lot of things, but Mateo was never the reason you were sad. Once you stopped focusing on the reason things happened, and shifted your focus to Mateo, you went from being so down at the start of your pregnancy to laughing non-stop at your baby shower. You went through a lot of things, but you went _through_ them, Fer. You never let them hold you back from becoming a better person."

There are tears in Fernando's eyes, but Juan just holds him closer and kisses his forehead tenderly.

"This pregnancy isn't going to be like the last one. Or," Juan says thoughtfully, "It will be like Teo's, but only in the best ways; you're going to feel this baby moving and growing inside of you, and Nora, Leo and Teo will pick out a long list of ridiculous baby names, I'll go out and get you Chinese take-away at two o'clock in the morning, and I won't laugh when you have to roll to get yourself up off of the couch."

Fernando grins through glistening tears and Juan smiles fondly at him.

"I love you, Fer. I'm not going to abandon you, ever. I'm going to be here for you every single moment of every single day. If you feel ready and willing to have another child, then I am so excited to do this, and if you don't, then that's okay too. I'm not going to force you into anything you're hesitant about, not matter what the outcome might be."

Juan is kind and considerate to a fault, and Fernando both loves it and is frustrated by it in equal measure. In the same way that he never once considered aborting Mateo, even when the circumstances were at their worst, he couldn't dream of aborting this baby now that things are at their best.

Juan has given Fernando so much; his time and patience and support, and his love and respect and honesty. They've built a life together, not merely centered on Mateo, but based on shared affection and the happiness they are so willing to offer one another daily. A baby, another beautiful human being raised with pure devotion by the two of them, feels like the only way to make the perfect life they share even better.

"We're having a baby, Juan."

The smile blossoms on Juan's face, uninhibited, and his cheeks flush rosy with a joyful glow.

Fernando feels his heart swell with love and excitement. He loves seeing Juan look so, so happy. He takes Juan's palm and presses it against his stomach once more.

"I hope this baby looks like you," Fernando tells him quietly.

The happiness on Juan's face increases tenfold, even through the tears spilling down his bearded cheeks.

"It doesn't matter," Juan tells him. "I don't care if we have an army of your clones. You're beautiful. I love you so much. I can't thank you enough for giving this to me."

"Well, you're the one who did the giving," Fernando teases, but it's sweet and soft and Juan kisses him deeply.

"Maybe you can give me the next one then," Juan murmurs against his mouth.

Fernando draws back to look at this man in wonder.

"You want more kids? You'd want to have one?"

Juan blushes a dark pink, but he nods.

"I want as many kids as we can manage. I'll carry all of them, if you want me to. I've thought for a long time about what it might be like."

Fernando kisses Juan, long and slow.

"That depends on whether you're going to name any of them Rocco."

Juan laughs and shrugs, "Maybe."

 

Thirty-seven weeks later, Juan sobs and laughs in the hospital room.

When Juan Manuel Mata Torres grows up, he has dark, curly hair, wide blue eyes and unmistakable freckles.

**Author's Note:**

> And there you have it!! It's all done!! It only took me six years and I've-lost-count-of-how-many rewrites :)))
> 
> I hope this story wrapped up the Mystery Dad loose end. By now it should be explicitly clear who he is, even without any names mentioned. I swear, while I was researching some quotes to incorporate into this chapter, I was like _damn, I could theoretically support this ship_ , but Juanando is life and love and liberty, and also my heart belongs to Chelsea, so yeah, no lol.
> 
> Thank you all again for your support on this series. I know the Juanando community isn't as big as it used to be some years ago, but it's been great to have the last few stalwarts around, as well as neutral parties and even rival shippers. Support makes the writing gears go 'round, and I am deeply appreciative for the encouragement you've all given me.


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